Writing Challenge Day 24: I wish I knew these three things for sure

You can refer back to the 30 questions and original writing challenge post HERE

DAY 24: I wish I knew these three things for sure

This is tricky. Many of the things I really would like to know for sure involve the future BUT at the same time I love the wonder and unknown of the future….It is a catch 22…So I will do my best here

  1. That my kids will live a long and happy life. I think if I knew this a lot of the “mom guilt” and “mom worrying” would vanish. Those are VERY real conditions while being a mother that most people don’t talk about. I feel them on the daily. If I knew for sure I wasn’t completely messing up their lives (HAHAHAHA! … Kinda being dramatic, Kinda being serious!) I would rest more peacefully at night!
  2. That all of my showing up will pay off one day. It does pay off in the little things on the daily. But I also envision a moment in life where I would love to grab my 15, 25, 35 year old self and say…this is what all those early mornings and late nights were for. The blood, sweat and tears. One of those very defining life moments. I have no idea honestly what that even means or looks like or even what it would entail. And I do have these moments but I guess knowing that what I am building and working on daily will eventually be the dreams of tomorrow.
  3. If I was meant for love…I question and wonder this sometimes. I have only loved a few times in my life and once since my divorce. I wonder if the romance I envision is real or if it is a fairy tale I will write about as an old lady while I sit with my dog on a porch swing overlooking a beautiful sunrise sipping a cappuccino. I teeter a life of wanting freedom and living in solitude yet the hopeful romantic in me wonders if the world holds a partner capable of feeling like home. I don’t know for sure right now, I don’t know if I REALLY want to know for sure…I just know I have envisioned what love, romance and passion look like to me and I know I am deserving of it and won’t settle for anything but the magic because my alone feels very peaceful.

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