You can refer back to the 30 questions and original writing challenge post HERE
DAY 13: 3 legitimate fears you have and how they became fears
- Failure — This is one that has been with me since birth. As a perfectionist, I don’t like failure. I don’t like setting myself up for failure. It is the reason I hid my truth for many years. I didn’t want to “fail”. One thing I have to note however is that this is something I have been working on for many years and have finally learned to let go of. Sure, it comes in waves. Most insecurities and vulnerabilities will for life. I do feel like I have created the tools needed to overcome them. I’ve decided I can’t be scared of failure because if I fail at something than at least I tried. I would rather know I was brave for trying, then too scared to take a chance on myself. Failure is a fear yes. Do I let it have power over me, no.
- Not being “enough” — I spent a decade and a half of my life not feeling enough. Enough of anything. Worthy of anything. I spent 5 years working on overcoming this fear and truth. I spent 2 of those years in therapy understanding the deeper meaning and building the tools that I needed to own my truth and identity. I used to be scared to admit I went to therapy. In fact it was my “dirty little secret” for the first year. Now I realize that in my darkest moments, I really was “enough” and believed I was enough in the core of who I am. Simply because I asked for help when life got too big for me. That was the beginning of the journey to discover I was enough and worthy of all the beauty in life. “Enough” rears its ugly head sometimes still and can present itself as a fear. I simply don’t let it have the power it once used to.
- Nothing is permanent — I don’t know how this one evolved…maybe it is with life experience. Death. Illness. Hearing and seeing other people I love live through tragedy. Having my young girl perception of marriage slip through my fingers. Betrayal and Pain. Joy and Bliss. Love. I don’t think of this as a classic fear as much as a reminder to live each moment of my life to the fullest because you never know when it will be gone. Enjoy the presence of the ones around you. Hold the ones you love close. Enjoy the highs of life and know the lows will be fleeting. I do have this in my head each day as I make decisions and realize just how quickly my children are growing up. As I age I realize the importance of time and the value of love. In the end all that matters is love.
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