Writing Challenge Day 12: Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is

You can refer back to the 30 questions and original writing challenge post HERE

DAY 12: Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is


I am still plugging away at these. I broke the every day rule awhile back but who doesn’t like a rule breaker right?

Ahhhh….Singlehood.

I have been single for a long time now. Many years.

I have gone on some dates. I have gone on some second dates. I have had good dates. I have had dates I sit and rehash drinking wine and laughing with my best friends about because you simply can’t discuss them without the use of wine…they were THAT bad. Haha! I have had a long distance European lover that was mad passionate love but also ended as fiery as the beginning. I have even spent one night on Tinder many years back that resulted in …one very good date and I actually dated the guy for a short time and one horrible date I got up and walked out of. I have dated guys 10 years younger than me and 10 years older than me. Guys have come and gone. Guy friends who have wanted more have come and gone. A very special handful of men have stayed around and I cherish those relationships. Dating isn’t something I actively seek out or really ever have or will.

I realize as I am typing this, it makes me seem like I have dated a lot!!! And I haven’t, haha! I actually am VERY cautious who I give my TIME to and find it rare a man can hold my attention long enough for more than a date or two. I am such an intuitive person and live life by following my heart and intuition, that I simply know if something is worth my time pursuing pretty quickly. I trust myself and my gut fully. My rule of thumb is that if I have free time when my kids are not around, I REALLY love spending time with my best friends so a man has to be more intriguing and promising of fun in order to take my precious TIME away from the ones I love and cherish. The older I get the more I realize the value of TIME. Where we spend our time defines us. How we spend time defines us. Who we give our time to defines us. My time is my most valuable possession. It isn’t guaranteed how much time we have so I live my life to value my own time and especially how and to whom it is allocated. For that reason, I don’t jump into relationships, date often or entertain many advances by men. There has to be something unique and special that catches my eye. Even sex isn’t a good enough reason anymore, because once you’ve had really incredible mind blowing sex, you realize the devalue of a one night stand and casual hook ups. Anyone can get sex on any given day. That is the truth and I would argue to my death. Sex is amazing and FUN and exciting and essential to our basic carnal and sensual needs … But the really GOOD sex…that is more rare and worth the wait once you’ve experienced it. Part of not settling for a partner or relationship is also not settling for just ok sex or casual sex. For many years of my life, I didn’t know the worth of my body or myself. It was much deeper than looking for it in the arms of lovers and that never was my outlet but once again, as I grow older and increasing aware of my power as a woman and the inner sensuality that exists within each of us women as exotic, gorgeous and wild creatures…the more I realize just how much worth my body holds and it limits who that is shared with.

I have been thinking a lot recently about getting naked. How there are two types of getting naked. The kind that shows off your naked body and the kind that shows off your naked mind and heart. Both are vital to a healthy existence and yet it seems the latter is more rare and intimate.

Showing someone your naked mind is the most vulnerable act of courage. It is scary and sexy all wrapped into one. It has the potential to give you the biggest vulnerability hangover of your life. It is beautiful. It is messy at times. It is powerful. Undressing someone with words and thoughts as you dive into the inner working of their mind, heart and by listening to their stories is sexy and sensual. For someone like me, who is a deep and passionate thinker…this is the ultimate intimacy. There is a quote that sums me up and I know SO many other females that feel the same:

“My heart is not captured easily. I am disinterested in small talk, disillusioned with love, and too focused on my dreams and aspirations to lend anybody my attention for long.
But if we make that connection, if you find your way into my heart, God, I will fall for you like gravity has
let go of the earth.” -Beau Taplin

So where is my head…I am single. I have been for a very long. By choice. It doesn’t define me nor will it ever. I get asked all the time…Do you want to date? Will you ever get married again? Do you want more kids? Would you rather have a husband or life partner? Literally all the time I get asked these questions. And here is my answer.

I don’t have a fucking clue. I truly don’t. I tried life with a “plan” and well…that didn’t work out so well for me. I put my full faith in the Universe, Magic and God’s hands. I don’t know. Maybe I meet someone tomorrow, fall madly in love and have 15 more babies (likely not but who knows!) or maybe I spend my days as a wild woman roaming the world alone. Here is what I know: I have SO much love to give because I have taken the time to love myself. I am open. I believe in love despite all odds. I’ll never let the world or experiences callous my heart. It is my super power in life, my ability to love deeply and that isn’t necessarily pertaining to a romantic partner. I am living my life and have built one I am proud of. I don’t know what is in store or even what I want because maybe what I want is something I haven’t experienced yet. I simply trust. I know I am being guided and life is full of twists and turns. I surrendered a long time ago. I guess we will see right? Probably your guess is as good as mine. All I know is that magic is real and I won’t settle for anything less.

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3 comments

  1. Maja Quiles says:

    I am a long time follower on Instagram and I absolutely love to read your posts. I love how you unleash your inter self for world to see. You are so pure and naked. Your soul is clear. Your posts have made a huge difference in my wild. I own my wild because of you!
    Thank you!!

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