You can refer back to the 30 questions and original writing challenge post HERE
DAY 11: What is your love language
Have you ever read this book?
Well, this book is one I read a million years ago when I was married and one of my friends brought it over. A group of us all took the quiz at the back of the book one night together. I was immediately drawn to the idea of a “love language” and it resonated with me that we all feel and accept love in different ways and we usually give love in those ways that we would like to receive love ourselves. BUT that we need to learn how our lover and partner want/need to receive love in order to maximize communication, passion and affection in a relationship. I took this one step further and have applied it with my children. I truly believe children need to receive love in ALL the love languages so I make an effort to do each as often as possible.
If you aren’t familiar with these teachings and this theory these are the 5 Love Languages:
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
I am single now and have been single for many years except a brief stint with a long distance relationship. I can count on one hand the amount of dates I have been on in the past 2 years. I took this quiz two different times in the past 4 years. Each and every one of the three times, whether I was married or single, I have taken this quiz I have had an almost perfect high score with Physical Touch. Words of Affirmation is my secondary. Not shocking but Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts were just as extreme in the opposite direction.
I find this fascinating. I find learning what other people’s love language is fascinating. I love trying to figure out even my best friends love languages and then how to show them love in the ways they feel it most. Life is all about love and it just makes sense in my brain that we all feel it differently and yet universally crave, desire and deserve it.
For me it is interesting knowing what I need in a man and a possible future companion, soulmate, lover, whatever you may want to call it. I know for a fact, I need to be with someone that shows physical affection. Touch is powerful for me and it would starve my soul being with someone who was closed off or wouldn’t show love through touch. I am a hand holder, cuddles and extremely affectionate when I am in love and just in general. Literally someone could win my heart over by playing with my hair while I fall asleep faster than giving me a hundred thousand dollar present. Honestly, I know the hardest part of being single for me is the lack of touch. In a culture where I believe we are already starved for affection and touch because our hands are too busy holding phones instead of hands, being single amplifies that unless you are dating a bunch or sleep around with a lot of people and I do neither of those! Haha! Don’t get me wrong, I am very content and fulfilled in my single life, I am simply stating a fact.
I think every single woman and man should know what they like and need to feel loved. We all deserved to be loved in the manner we feel it the most. Yes, you can communicate and teach someone what you need but sometimes people aren’t wired to show love in the way you need it and in that case, you know early on and can spare yourself the time of trying to “change someone” or dulling down your desires to accommodate someone else.
I think the reason Acts of Service is so low for me is because I am used to doing EVERYthing myself. It comes in the territory of being a single mom. And I don’t think this is a shining quality, but being a woman who NEVER asks for help. Asking for help is a VERY good thing and I really should more. I just don’t though. So every now and then when someone does something, even very small….like I vividly remember one day a neighbor rolled my garbages into my garage…he probably doesn’t even remember that but it is imprinted on my mind because I am SO used to doing everything for me, my kids, my house, my work, ect, ect….Alas…maybe one day this will mean more, but for now, the independent woman in me is so far removed from having acts of service that it doesn’t speak to my soul.
Anyways…that is basically what I have to say about that. I highly recommend taking this quiz. It is available online HERE. Take it with your lover or partner and see what you think. See if you understand each other better.
Then leave me a comment and let me know YOUR love language!
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