The Worst Advice I Ever Received

When I was first setting up this blog many years ago, I reached out to some people to help me. I reached out to a man who had been a friend and he gave me some advice as I was starting in on social media and going to start writing more.

We were on the phone one day when I had a question and he started drilling into my head this concept.

You HAVE to FOCUS.

You have too many interests!

You need to just be a running blog/Instagram page. Or Triathlon. Or yoga. Or Mom life. But you can’t and shouldn’t do it all. You can’t possibly market them all. 

You need to be a boutique store, not a Target. Meaning people know exactly what they are going to get every time they come to your blog or Instagram or Twitter. 

You need to focus on one and maybe two things. 

I got off the phone and to be fair, I understood exactly what he was saying and from a business perspective that is sound advice a lot of time. So I have to say, it is good advice.

But was it good and sound advice for ME?

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Flash Forward to today. Many years later. For some reason that advice has stayed with me. And it stayed with me for this reason:

Being the BEST advice I never took!

It never settled with me. It created a box. Immediately I felt myself breathing hard and wanting to break out of the box when I was put in the box. To this very moment, if I think about having to limit or focus myself on only one or two things, it makes me sick in stomach and my heart close up. Listening to my body that means, something in my GUT is telling me NO NO NO please NO do NOT listen or do that. And my HEART is saying, girlfriend, we aren’t even entertaining that thought and will close up shop the moment you try to confine what we love. So I listened to my body. My gut and my heart. And I followed every fucking creative passion and idea I have had for the past 4 years. And it was the best decision of my life.

I have tried and failed at SO many things I can’t even count. I have entertained ideas and tried to put them into motion only to get knocked back time and time again. BUT, the beauty of it has been that defeat isn’t even a word in my vocabulary. I never have once felt like it was a bad idea or judged anything I have pursued. If we start judging our creative expressions, that is the quickest way to lose them. So I embrace them. All of them. My close circle of humans just know that very often I am going to say, “So I have this idea”…and they honestly never know what could come out of my mouth next! But I do pursue them all. Until I learn what I was supposed to learn or hit a wall. I write them down in my phone. I have endless notes with ideas, dreams and creative ideas. Sometimes I write them down and then two or three years later they manifest in a way I never thought of.

The fact is, I am a 34 year old woman that knows myself very fucking well and is very confident in my intuition. It doesn’t mean I am not still growing and learning. No way! I hope I am still learning cool shit out about myself at 100 years old! But I know who I am today. I am a wild, untamed soul that has so many dreams, ideas and visions that I have to pursue them all. I can’t be labeled and put in a box with a bow that anyone will actually understand. There are too many elements to my heart, mind and body. There are my five people or so in life that actually know ALL aspects of me and others get to see a one sided variation of the part that connects with them. I love sharing myself with people and connecting with other humans. It fuels me and is a big part of why I travel the world solo. To find intimate connection in random people, in far away places.

I have a lot of interests and hobbies. Some I am just discovering and exploring. For example, I had no idea I was decent at climbing mountains until the last year. Turns out, I can rock climb and persevere through some pretty wild climates and scenarios. Now I have a love affair with mountains that I believe will last a lifetime. Some of these interests and hobbies have led to career opportunities and new ventures. Some have led to even more crazy opportunities because life is a string of events that leads you exactly to who, what and where you are supposed to be on any given day. I know that truth in my bones.

Why not pursue them all? Why not keep TRYING and TRYING until you find what sets your heart on fire. The amazing thing about trying over and over is that when you finally find “That Thing” that does make your heart want to burst with awesomeness when you even THINK about it, you know you have to go all fucking in. No holding back. Whether that is with a hobby or career or just simply a creative curiosity. Always be expanding your mind, body and heart. Be bold enough to be a beginner and try something that excites or scares you and you may have found a new path in life.

Get out of what “you are good at” or your comfort zone or your beautiful and sparkly box and just EXPLORE. CREATE. TRY.

Be all the things you want to be. Do all the things you want to do. You don’t need a fucking label, you aren’t a milk carton! Create your own label and write your own story!

My label may not be understood by many because there are SO many moving parts and diverse parts. Contradictory parts and paradoxical parts. But it is mine. And it satisfies the wildness in my spirit and heart. And the best advice I never took helped me realize that living a creative and curious life, following all my passions and crazy wild ideas and dreaming big and working relentlessly for them … Is pretty fucking rad and definitely more authentic to my soul.

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