Bedtime is the best and WORST part of motherhood. I love the snuggles and kisses before bed. I love telling my boys how much they mean to me and how much I love them. BUT sometimes if we have had a late night there is nothing more I want then for them to just GO TO BED so that I can have an hour or so of quiet time to myself to unwind before going to bed myself. I promise you any Mom who tells you they don’t have these nights is a damn liar! Haha!
I had a great night with my boys and we stayed up a little bit later than usual. My youngest was so full of energy I could have sworn he chased brushing his teeth with a red bull. I was tired and wanted my quiet time and he was grouchy but lively. It didn’t make for a good combination. He is my “mini me” and has a stubborn wild side like I do. We got annoyed with each other and then I finally just turned out the lights and went to shower. After I was done showering I decided to check and see if he was still awake and bring a peace offering of water…because you know, he had told me just 30 minutes earlier he was “literally dying of dehydration”. His words, not mine.
I saw him sitting up and so I went over and gave him a sip of water which was enough to bring his dehydrated body fully back to life and a smile to his face. We laid down and started cuddling. He looked over at me and said, “I’m Sorry”. I promptly said, “I am Sorry too my love”. I told him that I was happy that he was so quick to apologize and that we could both say sorry and just move on. He started erasing with his hands in the air saying, “erase, erase”…something I have done in the past. Let’s just erase and start over. So I said to him we should start the night over and he hopped up and said it was time for bed and came and cuddled by me again. I started smiling and pulled him in close to kiss his little neck and face as many times as possible. I whispered in his ear this message…
“Thank you for being brave enough to say Sorry. To start again when we make mistakes. Mommy is sorry too. We both were grouchy and that is no fun. But we are a family and in our family we forgive. Thank you for forgiving me and I forgive you. I’m glad we could start over because everyone makes mistakes but these kisses and back tickling feel so much better than us being grouchy. So thank you sweet boy for being brave. You are the bravest 5 year old I know”
He smiled and melted into me as he grabbed his blanket. I sat and held him for a little longer smelling his head and holding his little body. I got up with a smile on my face and peace in my heart.
We all make mistakes.
Being a Mom is really freaking hard!
I get grouchy and on edge with my kids and I am sure you do to. I hate when I do, but I do.
But it is such a beautiful thing when we can teach our babies and the next generation to rise up and be brave. To own their mistakes and emotions and know that it is ok to say sorry and for that matter to be the first to say sorry. My 6 year old is much more brave than most all adults I know. Children can teach us so much and yet we have this beautiful opportunity to raise young boys and girls who speak and act in love. Not in perfection, but in love. It is an opportunity that I cherish to raise young men that will say sorry. That will be vulnerable with their emotions. That can speak and feel. Most importantly that can FORGIVE.
In our family we forgive and love. It is a core value we will always honor. I’m thankful I had the privilege of being reminded of that again for myself last night.