Last night I post this on my Instagram Page.
I did it because if I am having a hard night as a single mom I am sure someone else is. And I wanted to reach out and give a big virtual hug to that woman who was crying just like me.
I felt a weight last night. I sometimes get nervous to be honest on here because the good outweighs the sad moments in my life by about a bazillion times over. BUT sometimes life and especially motherhood feels like I am trying to hold up the earth alone and also keep it spinning and in alignment with the sun and stars and moon.
So when I wanted to break down, I reached out to someone I knew would understand … A fellow single mom friend. There is almost an unspoken bond because we just GET each other. Us single moms. It really is like a club that unless you have been IN it or are in it, you can’t fully comprehend.
We messaged and showed empathy. I shared my fears. She shared her love and story. She urged me to do something I would have never done and that is try to reach out to someone to talk to and SHOW myself to … That scenario didn’t transpire but I tried and also had some amazing “aha” moments in which I realized I am capable of allowing my walls to come down. Maybe only brick by brick … But I have it in me to break down the walls and be SEEN.
The very first person I shared my “whole story” to SAW me. And said that. “I see YOU.” And still loved me for me. This friend is probably one of the most pivotal people that will ever cross my paths.
To be SEEN as who you are is powerful. But scary. I am getting better and better with it. I have an easier time with the females in my life admittedly. I only have a few men that I consider true friends … with no intentions other than to love me as me as a friend for life. That is why my relationship with my brother and my bff are so important to me. But I guess if I can be open to anyone that is better than no one.
Anyways … There is zero point of this post and my ramblings.
Sometimes life is so beautiful and easy and everything goes right. And some nights you want to collapse because the burden you bear is too heavy.
I used to hold it all in and fight alone. I am so proud of the woman in me last night that recognized I needed help and reached out to my love, my single mom friend simply to say … I feel like I’m fucking failing. By the end of the conversation we were talking about chocolate so obviously it worked, haha!
I am going to say this … to ANYone but especially to single moms. You have someone. ME. You can reach me through email StephanieRaeYoga (@) gmail.com or through any social media channels at any time. I may not answer immediately BUT if you just want to vent about ANYthing vent to me and I will hear you and do so with no judgement. Us single moms need to stick together. We understand each other like nobody else can. You are NOT alone.
Life really is good you guys. There are just a whirlwind of emotions that accompany life. When we can feel them and navigate through them, we can live more FULL. I will always take the lows for they remind me to find beauty in the simply pleasures of life like a sunset or a pretty cloud or a freshly cut field. I don’t take for granted the highs and the times I am SEEN and heard because I know what it feels like to hide away in a locked room. Literally.
The sun always rises on a new day and today the rain is washing away the remnants of a difficult night and the world will look and smell fresh once again. Ride out the lows and live in the beauty of the NOW.
All my love to you and have a good weekend loves.