My oldest son turns 7 today. I can’t slow the clocks down no matter how hard I try. Why is it with every year older they get, time speeds up tenfold. It amazes me how one moment the hour from 3-4pm feels like eternal hell that will never end BUT when I look back at all the hours and minutes they seem to have happened in a blink. And whatever was happening in THAT moment, I can’t seem to remember. Life becomes more and more about the memories and the “defining moments” and less and less about how frustrating it was when we couldn’t find our other shoe and were late for school.
My family is my team. I have been thinking about this concept a lot lately.
I want my boys to know as they get older and older that I have THEIR back unconditionally. I will stick up for them and love them. We are a TEAM and if you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us.
Now hold up … I know that sounds maybe extreme if you read into it and let your mind go crazy but just take it at face value. I know my family … My mom, My dad, My brother and I are a TEAM … We were before I had my boys. My parents fiercely have my back and support me. My brother and I have grown from the “big sister/little brother” relationship to BEST friends over our adult years. Just yesterday I spent the day with him. We literally tell each other everything. And anything. And know the LOVE and support is there. At any hour. At any moment. No matter what. We are fiercely loyal to each other and nobody messes with one of us without messing with the other.
And you know what…It feels DAMN good to have that in life. It is rare for me to feel that someone is always there and will stand up and defend me. Not that I necessarily need it because I can do that myself BUT … it doesn’t hurt when someone says THEY will.
I want my children to have that with me. The same security my parents created in our family, I want them to have in my family. My family looks a little different than I imagined as a single mom but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have that. And if I am being honest … There is no reason my kids and family can’t have that with their father as well. We have a good relationship and although we are no longer together we can still let our boys know we stand united as their mother and father and are THEIR team. That is one of the greatest gift I can give my boys as a single mom.
I am excited to keep building my TEAM as my boys get older. Yes I am their parent and discipline is part of that. Leading by example. Being stern and even getting the occasional …. You are a mean mom or I hate you (hopefully we have outgrown that one because it pierces my heart!!!) … BUT at the end of the day, no matter what happens or who blows up or who freaks out … I want to be tickling my boys back and tucking them in with all of us knowing that in our family we say SORRY. We FORGIVE. And we are a TEAM. And we have each other’s back.
Parenting is a journey. Of massive highs. And massive lows.
But it is so beautiful. I feel like I learn MORE than they do on any given day because I am constantly on my toes and being challenged to be a greater me. There is no room for slack. Even in my darkest hours, I stood up … got dressed … and my kids and I tackled the day. I am who I am today because 7 years ago I fell in love at first sight. 10 tiny fingers wrapped around my 2 fingers and we bonded for life.
A mother’s love is fierce and eternal. It is the most powerful love on earth.
I feel grateful every.single.day. that I get to be a mom. I want to be the BEST me so I can give that to my children. I LIVE and LOVE life to the fullest so they can experience it with me and learn by example.
My life changed forever 7 years ago today never to be the same until I take my last breath. And as I sit here smiling at that thought … my boy is just waking up … I can hear him and his brother laughing. So I am signing off to go make the Birthday Boy his favorite chocolate chip pancakes and make him feel as special as I can today. To let him know that my world is complete because HE is in it.
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