LIVE for Today…

I had dinner with two of my closest friends last night.

We all met in a music class when our oldest were only about eight weeks old so it has been almost 7 years of friendships this summer/fall. We lived downtown Chicago and raised our little babies there. We strolled our kids around Lincoln Park Zoo. We went to music classes at Millennium Park. We walked for hours with our strollers on the Chicago Lakefront Path stopping at beaches and talking endlessly about motherhood and life.

Raising children in the big city isn’t for the faint of heart BUT it was truly one of the most sacred and special times of my life. And it was mostly because of these women.

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Eventually we all have scattered. My closest and one of my best friends I will ever have moved to Arizona. Another moved out of state and the rest of scattered into the suburbs to find better school options for OUR families. Nothing wrong with city schools but it was best for our individual families.

Through the past seven years we have had:

more playdates than I could count

more tantrums and laughing until tears

we’ve endured together:

Death

Divorce

Moving

New Jobs

Illness

Miscarriages

And pretty much every other life scenario…

Together.

There is a FIERCE power when women can bond together for better or worse and LOVE unconditionally.

We all have different hobbies and interests…

And we ACCEPT and support each other.

We all eat differently and feed our children different…

And we ACCEPT without blinking an eye.

We all raise our children differently…

Some did organic, some McDonalds.

Some exclusively and passionately breastfed, some bottle-fed from birth.

Some co-slept, some “cried it out”.

And it DIDN’T MATTER.

Nor does it. Did it. Or ever Will it.

Because it just DOESN’T FREAKING MATTER.

People can come together from ALL walks of life and with

LOVE

can form unbreakable bonds of support and nuturing.

That is what this group of women has taught me. And this lesson I will carry with me throughout my whole life.

We may not see each other as much as we used to. Between families, dance and soccer classes, shuttling kids to and from school, vacations and just sheer distance … Our time together is spread out.

Yet when we come together we already know each other’s stories. The key players in each other’s lives. So it picks up where it left off. In complete REAL honesty. No bull-shit small talk. Just vulnerable, hilarious and honest friendship.

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So last night a few topics of conversation were this….

And this may make you Mother’s out there feel better!!! We were talking about feeding our children and how sometimes when we try to feed them healthy and serve a vegetable how our kids throw tantrums so HUGE and roll around on the ground and scream and think we are trying to poison them by serving them a cucumber. We were ALL laughing because we have ALL been there. And we all admit that sometimes we give in just to shut the chaos up!!! Ha! ALL kids are just KIDS! And when you can share the intense or annoying aspects of motherhood (because we all know it isn’t all rainbows and butterflies!) it makes you feel like you can endure because next time your kid throws a fit over a carrot you can smile and know someone else honestly KNOWS the stress of the situation!

A second theme was death and illness. I know…a sexy dinner conversation but it was a prominent theme for the beginning of the year. There were tears shed by all.

I left dinner feeling fulfilled and peace.

Also, reflective.

LIFE IS SO DAMN SHORT you guys and it can be over today or tomorrow. Illness or cancer can be not in your frame of reference today and by this weekend it could consume your life. This isn’t a “downer” post…This is the REALITY. Very true REALITY. And there may seem like there is nothing to do about it.

That is entirely wrong.

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What we can do about it is LIVE.

We can LOVE those around us more fiercely today than ever before.

Write or call your loved ones the SECOND you feel the urge. You do not have to engage or spend a lot of time but a quick I love you or am thinking about you goes a very long way.

Forgiving. Not harboring anger or bitterness in your heart for one more second. For every minute you hold onto anger you lose a minute of LOVE. Choose LOVE.

Always chose the ones you love most. They will be the ones who will be with you for life. Give them your devotion and priority. Make sure they KNOW where they stand instead of assuming. If today was your last day … who would you want to spend it with? Make the person and people that came to mind part of your day TODAY.

Be BOLD. I think of this one a lot as I am a single woman. Games are useless. Making someone feel they have to compete for love or affection is ridiculous. I admire BOLD and strong men and women. GO GET THE PERSON YOU LOVE or if it isn’t love yet … GO GET THAT PERSON YOU ARE CRUSHING ON! Especially if they show interest! Be honest and upfront! Sure there is a stigma about being “too overbearing” and yes that CAN be true at times but honest feelings and getting straight to the point is VERY sexy. Don’t waste time thinking about how you could get hurt. Yes, you MAY get hurt. You also MAY get hit by bus. But isn’t the risk of LOVE worth it! Just as the risk of getting hit by the bus is WORTH seeing the outside world. Take risks in love! Talk to the girl. Smile at the boy. Take games out and live TODAY. Be BOLD.

Life is SO beautiful and worth LIVING.

Love is SO worth pursuing.

When you find people who make your heart feel peace, flutter or sing … Never let them go and spend every last breath declaring your love. This goes for lovers or friendships.

Life is short.

So LIVE it today.

 

 

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2 comments

  1. Amanda says:

    I love this post! And I can relate on so many levels. I have friends I’ve met when I was 8 years old, friends from high school, friends from university and friends I actually met as a result of my separation in 2014. All of these women are incredible and I love having them in my life. We don’t talk every day, sometimes we don’t even talk every month. But I know when we sit down for coffee, or a glass of wine or dinner it’s meaningful and wonderful. It makes my heart happy to know I have women in my life who genuinely love and support me. We’re all at different stages of our lives, but not one of them makes me feel any less for being honest about not being ready to settle down and for focusing on my athletic goals and dreams. Not one of them makes me feel bad when I can’t go out for girls night because I have a huge race the next day. They support me unconditionally and love without reservation. If I needed them, at 2 am, they’d be there for me. And that is so rare to find in friendships. Thanks for writing this post! I am so glad there are others out there who are lucky enough to find friendships like these.

    • This makes me SO happy to read this. I just GET what you are describing. It is so rare and yet beautiful these days. Women friendships are fierce and powerful. We are lucky women. Muuuuah!

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