Behind every great kid, is a MOM who is pretty sure she not only IS but HAS screwed up!
Does that sound about right? Yes? You are not alone…
I overheard multiple of you Mom’s out there yesterday saying these exact words:
I just feel like I am failing!
I am doing the VERY best that I possibly can.
It never seems like enough.
I wasn’t trying to hear this…Maybe it rings so true to me that when these phrases were said within an earshot that my own perked up and I wanted to jump into your arms and just cry with you and say…ME TOO!
I have been trying SO hard with what I have and it never feels enough.
I get YOU mama!
Come to think of it, I have never heard a mom say … I am pretty damn sure I am NAILING this motherhood thing. I got this in the bag! Wow, this is EASY … I should write a book on how EASY motherhood is.
Do you know why Moms!?!
Because this shit ain’t easy.
The moment you become a mother your heart is no longer yours. Our children are our first and last thought each day and so many DURING the day that the term “mommy brain” truly IS a mental condition!!!
Especially young ones. Infants. Mommy brain and sleep deprivation make us mental. Truly.
The worrying never stops.
Sure .. We can let go and let them live. But we NEVER stop worrying. My own mother hasn’t stopped worrying about me. And I am 33. It may be in a different sense now but once you hear that first cry the worrying starts at are you healthy and do you have 10 toes and fingers. Until our last breath when we will say … Will you be OK without me.
Motherhood rips open your soul to be naked and exposed every.damn.day.
In the most beautifully tender moments and in the roughest conditions.
The reason it is never enough is because:
IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH. Enough is an illusion. Good Enough however, is just that. Good Enough Moms.
You will always wonder.
Why do you think older ladies always stop us and say “ohhhh enjoy this time, it passes quickly” … OR … I remember those days.
Because when our children are gone will have nostalgia and probably block out most of the traumatic moments like when your toddler throws their whole dinner on the floor because they are disgusted you would EVER consider serving them a vegetable … Waiting up all night because your teenager isn’t home on time … Holding a crying infant with colic for six months straight of no sleep.
Motherhood is messy.
It is massively beautiful.
We ALL have moments and days and whole weeks we feel like we are failing. We want to scream … Given my circumstances I am doing the best fucking job I can!
Let me tell you something Mom’s.
YOU are a GOOD ENOUGH Mom.
You are WORTHY to be your child’s mother.
I don’t care what spiritual being you believe in (if any!) … Your child is YOURS for a reason.
Only YOU can teach and love YOUR child the way they need to be taught and loved.
EVERY single mother feels like a failure on MOST days. Maybe not the whole day but in moments on MOST days.
The moms that look insanely perky and happy in real life and on social media have really bad moments and days as well. Nobody is immune. Nobody.
You are not alone.
And if some days … All you did was feed your kids and they know they are loved … You are WINNING!!!! Getting them dressed somedays is totally overrated!!!! Fed and Loved = Winning. Remember that.
Hold on to the precious moments. The tender ones. They are fleeting but what we LIVE for.
I would say try to give yourself a break but we all know that probably won’t happen or remain constant so I will say once again … You are not alone and you are not going insane.
You are NOT a bad mom.
You are an AMAZING mother.
Your children are pretty great.
Pause for a moment and step back to admire them today. Their accomplishments whether it’s saying one of their first words, taking their first steps, taking their first test at school, their sporting event, learning to drive or preparing to leave home in a few months for college.
They are at that point because of YOU!
And that is pretty damn cool.
If you are raising your babies alone and have nobody to tell you that you are doing a good job or even an OK job at the end of the day … I am here to tell you that you ARE. You are strong. You are doing incredible. I feel that void too. Deeply. If you ever need to be told you are doing ok … I am here. Honest to God, I am here to shoot you back an email or message. You have someone.
You are raising a human. The best you can.
Motherhood is a beautiful mess but you Mom’s out there are rocking that shit … so OWN it and keep moving forward.
I am SO incredibly proud of you.
Your fellow Mother