A Beautiful Mess

I once used to blog. A lot. I had a family blog and blogged almost daily. When my marriage started crumbling I shut it down. I retreated. I needed to focus on family only.

AND

I was absolutely SICK of my life looking perfect from the outside…as most blogs and social media channels make our lives appear. I was a mess and wasn’t ready for the world to see that just yet…however I was ready for the world to stop seeing perfection.

I am older now. Older in years yes…but mostly older in mind and spirit. I am a work in progress but I have found my TRUE spirit and ME. It was always there…It has just grown. As anyone does through life experience, trials and love. My life is still shaping up and I have

NO IDEA WHAT I AM GOING TO DO WHEN I GROW UP

but…

I also feel like pieces of my puzzle are falling into place. Like old chapters and books are closed and I am writing new ones. It is in fact

A Beautiful Mess.

If you KNOW what YOU are going to do when you grow up I want to hug and kiss you and then pick your brain!!! I am sure you DO know and I am just a wanderer…But as the cliche saying goes…

Not all who wander are lost

So maybe we are right where we need to be ESPECIALLY when we have no clue where we are!

But I have a secret…all the best ones I have found are a mess and searching always…a very beautiful and authentic mess but messy nonetheless.

So now…years after my old blog has been shut down I want to start fresh. I don’t really know why other than I love to write. I am not classically trained or have a background as a writer but I am a writer.

I have been writing since I could hold a pen. I have journals and short stories since I was a child. Writing has always been my outlet even when I didn’t realize it. My mind goes a million miles a minute and I can never keep up. I think deeply and PASSIONATELY. Writing soothes me. So I am going to write.

This blog won’t be eloquent or well put together. It won’t be the prettiest blog you read or the most fluffy. I will have bad grammar sometimes and my punctuation will be wrong. I will not stress about the fancy appearance because the words mean the most to me. I promise most of the time I won’t even proofread or spellcheck because I don’t want to stress over content….I want it authentically simple.

What it will be is real. Just me. Just a beautiful mess.

This blog will be about anything and everything now. I am not dedicating it to training for races although it will be mixed in there. Maybe it is a journal of sort. A messy beautiful journal I have decided to share with anyone who decided to read this.

Why? Why the fuck would you open yourself up so much? (Oh and I swear a lot so we have to accept that now)

Because probably the SINGLE most important thing I have learned this last year (besides how to make my own homemade lattes…that was a complete game changer!!!…Bye Bye Keurig!) …. was this….

Being vulnerable is the bravest act of humanity.

When you expose yourself…the good and the bad…you create space for others to do so as well. OWNING your story can inspire and help someone who has been through or is going through similar experiences. Chances are you are NOT the only one who has ever felt the way you have…I will actually venture to say…I really don’t think you are. Trials and emotions are Universal even if we all react and feel them on different levels.

So being open and allowing imperfections and MESS vocally into your life is the most courageous and CONTAGIOUS acts.

We are ALL in this crazy ass life together.

The GOOD.

The BAD.

The MESSY.

The BEAUTIFUL MESS.

Let’s own our stories. Let’s speak our TRUTH. Let’s RISE together!

Love fiercely and stay wild my friends,

Steph

 

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7 comments

  1. Meme says:

    Bless you for sharing the Creative Force with all of us!!!
    You give me a fresh outlook from every word you say and I am super grateful for you!!!
    Much Love to You!!!

  2. Lori says:

    I am so grateful that you are willing to share your journey. Glennon Doyle Melton says “Reading is my inhale and writing is my exhale.” I love that. The same is true for me. I am working on being authentic and real and am starting fresh in my own life after letting go of what I thought was the perfect life, marriage, etc…Basically I’m a mess too! I am learning a lot about myself and have started my own new journey and am excited about the possibilities. Hearing your story helps me stay strong and motivated and reminds me that I am OK just the way I am. So, I just wanted to say THANK YOU!

    • I just read that the other day by Glennon! She inspires me greatly!!! We are all a mess my love! Beauty lies in the mess! Growth comes from the mess! Strength is forged by the mess. Sending love sweetie!

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