I was writing in my journal this morning and I wrote this…
“Only 2 more months of 2017 and this has truly been the fastest year of my life.”
Now what is crazy is that in moments this year felt like eternity. But overall this has been the greatest year I have ever lived. It kind of blows my mind I still have 2 more months of it to live and I have SO much jam packed into that 2 months that I think it is going to continue to fly by. I am headed to NYC this weekend for Marathon Weekend. I think this will be the start of an epic few months. I started out my year in NYC with one of my bestest friends in the world. It was a crazy time in both of our lives and it was a beautiful beginning to a new chapter and year. I finally had fully closed the chapter with an X boyfriend. We had done the back and forth thing for 18 months…yes…18 months!!! It was taxing and tiring and in the end, he cancelled a trip we were going to take the day before and told me if I followed a particular massive dream of mine he couldn’t be with me and those two together marked the end. I had lost myself at the end of 2016…It was a really hard time in my life. I was begging for love from a man who had no intention of loving me back and it was damaging my soul. I finally snapped back to reality with the help of my BFF and Mom and began 2017 with a clean slate in NYC…which is where I am headed tomorrow. It feels almost full circle to me. I have discovered so much about myself this year. I am truly just grateful right now.
I recently took a poll on Instagram about what content people would like to hear more about from me…relationships, dating and sex blew away the others which I found interesting given I would consider my IG page more “fitness” related…although let’s be real…I can’t be put in the “fitness” box because it is also a travel, Mom, lifestyle, random thoughts page too! But anyways…Here are a few things I have learned this year so far…
- Never…EVER…be with someone if you have to beg them to love you or be with you. No matter how much you “think” you love them…that isn’t love darling. That is desperation. And it is ok if you have…don’t be hard on yourself or judge yourself. We all have done crazy things in love. But this is the moment to wake up and realize your worth. Maybe, just maybe deep down you are desperate for your OWN love. Maybe you have lost sight of that inner love and that is what you are pleading for. Nobody should have to plead or negotiate for love. Love is easy. It really is. I know relationships can be tricky at times but love is easy at the core. Love yourself…Love yourself SO much that when you finally do find real and everlasting love you will recognize it because it is the same feelings you have taught yourself to feel all along. Love exists but it starts within your own heart.
- Never…EVER…be with someone who makes you choose between them and your dreams. The one who loves you will support any and all crazy dreams you have. Unconditionally. Period. The end. Because they realize you don’t belong to each other…you belong to yourself and you have chosen each other as companions and partners to help and support each other through the rollercoaster of life. Be with someone who lights up when you talk about your goals and ambitions. We don’t fall in love…We RISE in love.
- “Maya Angelou was talking to Oprah one day and said: “When people show you who they are, why don’t you believe them? Why must you be shown 29 times before you can see who they really are?” So, when you see red flags in the beginning of a relationship – or anything, really – learn to pay attention to them. You may want to believe something else entirely, but some way or the other, people will always show you exactly who they are. You’re better off listening the first time, rather than waiting to be disappointed again and again and again before it sinks in.” This is a lesson that took me a VERY long time to learn. But I have learned it. I have also never felt so convicted in this statement than I have over the past year. I think back to how much pain and heartbreak truly BELIEVING this could have saved but life is also funny in that it will keep presenting you with the same situations and scenarios until you have learned what you are supposed to learn. So I can play the coulda, woulda, shoulda game with myself but in the end .. I learned the lesson loud and clear and that is what is important today. I want to make clear that this doesn’t just pertain to love and relationships. Recently someone showed me who they were in business and it was fraudulent and shady. I immediately cut all ties. When someone shows you who they are…believe them…the FIRST time.
Those are my Thursday Thoughts and ramblings. I hope the end of the year brings magic to everyone. I am chasing down one more big dream and am hoping to have it released by the end of the year. Keep on fighting my friends. For your dreams. For your happiness. For your health. For LIFE. Life can be tough sometimes but we are tougher. Maybe it has been a shitty year for you but guess what??? You have two months to SCREAM OUT LOUD …. PLOT TWIST! And make these last two months into miracles. Keep hope alive, believe and work hard. Love you all!!!!
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